


What really happened to my neck

by Wayward_JasonLee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Asexual Raphael Santiago, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Not Canon Compliant, Self-Denial, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 20:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_JasonLee/pseuds/Wayward_JasonLee
Summary: Throughout my minor existential crisis I had gotten up again and started wandering around aimlessly until I ended up finding myself in front of a very familiar looking apartment,- obviously my mind had had a destination or rather – an end goal, that being enjoying Magnus Bane's company./Set in city of ashes I guess/





	What really happened to my neck

**Author's Note:**

> hey yo, hope you like this, I wrote this one shot years ago and decided to translate it into English and then publish it,  
> I really hope you like this.  
> Lots of love, J. Parker x

I! Was! So! Bored! Being bored was nothing that brought a particular sort of joy to me, in all honesty it mostly made me want to rip my skin off and vomit violently- and unsurprisingly I hated vomiting violently. Where Clary and the rest were- I did not really care all that much, or rather, not at all. And I really did not want anything else outside of being by myself, yes- even if that meant to be bored.  
I decided to sit in a random dark ally way, the sort of dark ally way, that you should avoid like the plague in Brooklyn, should not enter- unless you experienced the particular desire to be beaten up. Well, I was a shadowhunter and there would hardly be a mundi out there who could deliver a level fight despite me looking like well a bit of a wanna be emo twink, now- they tried non the less and it was amusing every single time.  
So I sat in a dark ally way on the dirty floor, bored out of my mind and my mind went exactly where I did under no circumstances want it to go, two people- to be exact: Jace and Magnus.  
Of course, there was Jace, Jace as cold as a freezing winter day, most people did not like him, he was cold and rejecting, difficult to handle. And yet on of the best friends one could ever have, if allowing the cause of feeling protected and calm.  
And then there was Magnus like a hot summer afternoon, the metropolitan city night life. Flamboyant, extroverted, warm, embracing. Open and just glittery, always polite and just this special sense of humour which I adored so much. Magnus was just perfect. And yet many people disliked him because he was always at 120 it seemed and did not rest, fast paced- they did not want to see the calm in him or merely couldn’t. 

I was so adamant about clinging to thought of being in love with Jace, but that was exactly it- a thought and not a feeling. I did not love Jace, did not love him as anything  
but my brother and I always had loved him only like that, only on that level, and never anything else. It had been pure imagination, and maybe I had been hoping, hoping to have an excuse. An excuse to never go out with anyone or perhaps I was just scared- scared of finding someone whom I really liked, someone whom I really could fall in love with. Because I was scared of losing them, being hurt, scared of everything. Yea that really did sound like me and I knew that it was true.  
It was like a wall built around me, to protect me, but Magnus, the eccentric high warlock who glittered like a disco ball, he had managed to break that exact wall of fake and pretend feelings, with one gaze and 12 words. And since then I had real feelings to fight – and oh surprise it was so fucking difficult. Specially because my feelings were not shared, and I was scared, scared of allowing myself to fall. And I was scared because I knew if I would allow myself to fall now I would not be able to get back up. And it scared me, for whatever reason and in all honesty I didn’t even want to know why I was scared because if I did then maybe I would be able to come up with a solution to fix it. 

Throughout my minor existential crisis I had gotten up again and started wandering around aimlessly until I ended up in front of a very familiar looking apartment, obviously my mind had had a destination or rather – end goal, that being in Magnus Banes company. Apparently my logical thinking had completely fucked off as I rang the door bell. Through the open speaker a voice spoke out, a very pissed off and irritated sounding voice.  
“Who are you, what do you want”  
I felt a blush spreading across my face- what was I doing here? And proceeded to whisper in shame “So sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you, I- I’ll just leave” only to be met with a buzzing door, indicating that had been invited inside, which genuinely surprised me. In slight confusion I pushed the door open and mounted the stairs in slightly insecure steps, on the top of which Magnus was awaiting me.  
“Alec, Darling, what a true pleasure to see you this early time of day?”  
A valid point, it was very early though the sun had finally risen fully.  
He smirked slightly amused, most likely because of the way that I looked at him- since he was wearing virtually nothing outside of spectacularly unspectacular and not glittering dark red silk boxer-shorts. To my (dis)pleasure it left me with the wonderful opportunity to let my gaze wander along his miraculously perfect body (to be fair what had I expected?) In the end my gaze was captured and captivated by his eyes, they were cat like, yellow and golden – I liked them much better despite them obviously being his mark. They were beautiful.  
“Alec, Hi, you still there?”  
I quickly shook my head to get my throughs straight again  
“Uh- yea, sorry” my face turned bright red as I added “could you please for the love of God put some clothes on, you are really making it hard to focus” 

The high warlock of Brooklyn seemed as surprised regarding the nature and bluntness of my words as I found myself to be, he snapped his fingers non the less and was dressed in his usual shrill clothing- though in comparison to the rest of his outfits this particular one could be described as perhaps rather tame, tight black leather trousers with purple reflects, a very tight magenta shirt and a blue leather jacket and I couldn’t help the smile spreading across my face, as so much, I couldn’t stop myself from commenting “nice reference” and grinned smugly “didn’t think you would notice” in return of which I turned red again. “Come on in or did you have the intention to forever stay in the stairwell?” the blush which seemed to be a constant as soon as I was around him intensified as I stepped into his hallway and out of reflex kicked the door shut behind me. “So, let me ask again, what did I do to be graced with your presence?”  
Stumbling all over my words I managed to get out “So- I uhm, so uhm yes-“  
I hesitated for a brief moment to evaluate as to whether I should tell him the truth  
“-I was uh, I was bored and so, I maybe like thought of you and uh, then I somehow kinda ended up here I guess?”  
The second part came out quickly and quietly, as if I myself wasn’t exactly sure, whilst maintaining intense eye contact with the, today, dark brown wooden floor. The entrance way opened up behind magnus into a beautiful open living room with red and white furniture and a small bar. “Nice apartment” I mumbled still staring straight onto the floor “Alec Darling, you know that I am up here and not down there right?” I looked up shyly to meet his default smug grin “better, by the way”  
I looked at him thoroughly confused “What do you mean?” in response to which he just pointed at me with his manicured finger 

 

„Well your clothes of course, last time around I told you that your taste in clothing was horrendous and well- this isn’t good but definitely better” He wasn’t wrong, last time I saw him I was wearing baggy, once black, jeans and a massively oversized lose hoodie, In comparison, today I wore black slightly tighter jeans which hung lowly on my hips exposing my black boxershorts, a tight black shirt with, for me, a very deep v- neck. Topping that off was a robust leather jacket, “Thanks Magnus” 

He took a step towards me and I immediately took one back to level the distance between us once again  
“What is it that scares you so much Alexander?” he asked softly  
“I am fucking scared to fall in love, to develop feelings- well its too late for that, shit happens, bad on me, but I am so damn scared to let go in your presence, because then I instantly have to be scared to be let go by you” embarrassed and frustrated I spent the next moments intensely inspecting my not shadowhunter typical black converse sneakers- and I never even realised that during my rant, I mentioned Magnus- until he brought it up  
“That wasn’t the answer I had expected- but Alec why in the Angels name should I drop you, let you fall?”  
in sadness I mumbled „Because anything love related I fuck up, I mean I am gay in a not particularly gay friendly circle of highly regarded families and I catch feelings for the first time and all this is so new ok, I don’t know what to do. Everyone relationships oh so fascinating and also finds oh so entertaining and weird, as weird as I find the idea that Clary might be dating my sister. For some reasons people just talk shit about others relationships and - I am just so fucking scared”  
The fact that Alec, for the first time, admitted to being gay with no second guessing went without notice. Magnus looked deeply affected by the words as he likely really had thought to being the error in the equation not the other way round, carefully, he took another step towards me, giving me enough time to say something or to step back, to run and scream. He stepped forward again, until we were standing incredibly close. So close that I could smell faint cologne and feel his breath on my skin. He rested one of his arms on my hips and carefully, again giving me more than enough time to run away. But I didn’t want to run, his lips met mine and a weird sensation spread throughout my entire body. It wasn’t like a million fireworks exploding inside me, it was much more like a feeling taking over my entire body and eliminating every other sensation, all I could feel was the warmth of his lips against mine. He let go of me but only enough to look me in the eyes, asking “Are you still scared to-“ but he didn’t get any further because I interrupted him with the soft words “Shut up and kiss me again”  
Without waiting for the slightly dumbstruck Magnus to react I gripped his shirt pulling him downwards and kissed him. The sensation of the first kiss was entirely different, it felt as if it was just the imagination, just some odd hallucination, the second kiss- it was much more than that. His lips were soft and tasted vaguely like sweet coffee. At first his left hand remained resting on my hip as his other hand carefully cupped my cheek, I was completely gone in the moment, surprise overcame me when his tongue carefully licked over my bottom lip leaving me opening my mouth in response. He playfully bit my lip as his hand began to sneak underneath my shirt, the sudden sensation of his skin burning against my own, whilst his thumb was stroking along my neck and his tongue in my mouth. My world was spinning an a quite soft sound escaped my lips as my grip in Magnus hair tightened, earning a slight groan in response.  
We only stopped for a second to look at each other, as if we were checking that this definitively was ok, when I already started to remove the jacket from his shoulders as I had suddenly decided that it was annoying and a disturbance, whilst trying to kick of my shoes and after succeeding in both tasks I also removed my own jacket.  
We went back to kissing in an instant, Magnus had me with my back to the wall in mere seconds and without and warning picked me up, hands positioned on my bum so I almost shrieked when he started carrying me and I instantly closed my legs around his hips for further security until we reached the sofa where he carefully placed me on one of the soft cushions and himself on my lap.  
Before anything he pulled up my shirt and carelessly threw it in some direction before tracing my muscles and contours, the feathery touch sent shivers down my spine and specially though our sitting position neither of us could really hide how affected we were by the situation. He started kissing a trail down my neck, when just at the dip of my neck, in between my throat and collar bone, he decided to bit down and sucked on the sensitive skin, the painful and yet pleasurable sensation made me gasp audibly, and my hands instantly grabbed his hair which only motivated him to move up a little bit higher to repeat his action, causing my grip in his hair to tighten noticeably. Magnus leaned back just long enough to pull off his shirt.  
I managed to flip the situation leaving me sitting on top of him and pushing him into the soft sofa as I started leaving a trail of kisses all over his body and making an attempt at leaving a hickey on his throat, and I figured I must have done something right as the high warlock gasped underneath me.  
Whilst we started kissing again his hands slowly travelled towards the button of my jeans as he basically stuck his hand down my pants and the sensation made me moan, a small wave of embarrassment overcame me as I came to realise what sound had escaped me but Magnus seemed not at all bothered. His cat eyes looked at me intensely.  
I shook my head.  
“sorry” I mumbled and he furiously shook his head as we established a comfortable position where my head rested against his chest enabling me to listen to his heart beat, which was awfully fast I might add, “Alec dear there is nothing at all to be sorry for, you have boundaries and its perfectly fine believe me. Please don’t apologize”  
A slight frustration overcame me as I moved just a bit closer somehow feeling as if Magnus arm around me would protect me from all evil and bad in the world- of course it wasn’t true but it felt nice. He drew small circles on my arm as we laid there in comfortable silence when I mumbled “this didn’t turn out as I had thought for it to if I am honest”  
Magnus snorted “Elaborate”  
“Well, I didn’t mean to show up here in the first place and now I suddenly am kinda ok with the fact that I am gay and had my first kiss so that’s that”  
“Wait- this was your first kiss?”  
“Well yea, who else was I supposed to have it with?”  
I proceeded to be lulled into sleep by the regular sound of his beating heart. 

Weeks later, Luces farm. Evening. 

“Alec what the hell happened to your neck?” fuck. I felt my face heat up and could vaguely listen to myself babbeling about having fallen down on a rock I guess, demons attacking and thusly obtaining a bruise on my neck- and interrupted myself in the middle of my third attempt to come up with an excuse. Where I took the courage from I couldn’t say for the life of me “As you may have noticed I was talking a load of bullshit” collective nodding from everyone except for Magnus, he simple smiled and his eyes shined. We, over the past weeks had discussed the idea of coming forward about what had become an actual relationship, me being the primary factor in the equation stopping us being public about it, as I was quite apprehensive and scared.  
“Magnus- “ the high warlock stood up from his seat which he had fallen into immediately after we had arrived, whilst I was still standing in the middle of the room not exactly knowing what to do with myself. Confused gazes hit both of us as Magnus enlaced his long fingers with mine “You want to know the truth, well truth is, I am gay, and I am seeing Magnus- we are dating. Magnus is what really happened to my neck”  
Upon the realisation of what I had just said a wave of sheer panic and fear hit me, causing me to clutch Magnus’s hands tighter, expecting all hell to break lose, but nothing happened.  
“I am glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us” smiled Clary.  
Raphael kind of just sighed in Asexual but gave a slightly sarcastic thumbs up. “Congratulations mate, good on you- you owe me 15 bucks babe” Simon said with a casual shrug, which I assumed to be directed towards either Clary or Izzy but not  
“Shut up you twink” laughed Jace endearingly as he smiled towards Simon.  
“Hold up- what the fuck?”  
Asked Clary obviously baffled and shocked. 

And with that, hell did break lose.  
But hell wasn’t that bad, because apparently all the gays go to hell.

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely hope you enjoyed this, kudos, comments, critique and ideas are always welcome.  
> Thanks for reading. x


End file.
